Will Bueché

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Isolation is illusion

Posted in Personal by Will on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005 ~ 11pm

Dating a person who is rapidly growing into their own woman (or man, depending – I’ll call her/him “person” to be more equitable) can be risky. As the person is growing they may be inclined to feel that they need time in isolation in order to better identify what it is about themselves that is changing – without the concern that their perceptions about themselves is being affected by the person who they are dating. It is a sensible, logical concern for the person to have.

It’s sense and logic, however, does not disperse the fact that it is also illogical and nonsensical. True things often have properties of opposites, and this is one of those situations.

A person may indeed get a better perspective about themselves when they are in isolation. However one should also consider this truth: That one is never in isolation. When one realizes that one is never in isolation, one realizes that one gains a perspective about themselves and their growth regardless of whether one is in a relationship, or not in a relationship.

It is a wise person who realizes that they can become themselves, even when they are bonding with another. They key is not to believe in a concept of isolation that truly does not exist. To know that one’s self is always in the presence of others and is always growing regardless of how near or far other people are, one may actually find both security and pleasure in a fellow person’s company.

I hope that this highly theoretical blog is something which is inspired only by my inner concern and is not something which is relevant to my own life. But if it is, I hope the blog means something to that person.

Because, look ahead to what living with a person means. Each person is still growing. I know this from my married friends, that evolution continues. I’d like to experience that.

Oh my God, I just realized… I wonder if, when I recently mentioned how it was unclear how many months longer I’d be at my current job, if I created an impression I’d be moving away. I hope I didn’t do that… there are some plans (or “hopes and dreams” as they’re often called) that involve something entirely other… and if I haven’t expressed them before it is only because I’ve wanted to express these wishes in person…

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