Houston, tranquility ass here. Went to the mall today and was pleased to see students still have their asses hanging out. I continue to approve whole-assedly of this trend. “Like moths to an ass” I thought, with apologies to Aimee Mann and to whoever regulates similes and metaphors. Though as I wondered what it means to be a human-moth attracted to asses, I became slightly uncomfortable at the primitiveness of such attractions. Instincts are embarrassing, they can be made fun of, because they are sans logic. Moths dive bombs flames, while people just tend to stare at asses, but is it really so different? We’d dive into butt cheeks too if we were a more friendly species. Like I said, embarrassing. There was one particularly revealing butt poised on one of those backless mall benches, that of a lovely young asian woman. And I wondered for a moment if there was maybe a student’s videocamera somewhere recording mall-walkers facial reactions, as in a student project wherein they see how people react to the sight of something so personal. So I averted my eyes and walked on to Target, where I did not buy anything, because nothing there was more interesting than an ass.