Adapted from a personal letter…letter came first. Blog is secondary. This letter is from a couple days ago.
So I think I’ve got a date tonight (Weds) with K*, the leader of the expedition to the strip club, who has always been nice to me on those rare occasions when an S.Davis event has brought us into the same place and time. You’ve probably seen her profile pic in my friends list. She has a round appearance, but in fact she’s a small person, so images are misleading. Truly she’s really neat.
And how does tonight differ from other attempted dates? For one, I find I am not at all worried about nearly anything. Usually I have all these rituals I have to do — clean, fret about what to wear, go nuts on the overgrooming etc. But tonight is different in that I find myself just thinking about sitting next to her, hoping the seats will be booth style for close sitting.
All that prep stuff has to be done, sure — I am in fact sporting an ugly as hell 5 o’clock shadow so I can get a good shave in a few hours — but, it is hardly on my mind, you know? Usually my output of worry about such things exceeds the event itself. But it is the event itself I am looking forward to tonight, instead.
I do not actually for a fact know that she is single, because I beleive she has kept her status as “single” on her page even when she has been dating someone (R*?). But I think she may be free, as when I mentioned in a note that there was a better band playing at the Goat on friday than today, she agreed and hinted we might have to come back for that. So in other words she may be having the same idea and is keeping her friday clear for me. I’d like to think!
Also, she is everything I’ve blogged about wanting, before (it’s written right there in my Profile on Facebook) — a creative (or creative appreciating, like me), whedon-loving alt girl. I’m excited. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll report back.
[I’m not reporting back… Privacy mode ensues]
Ok, ok. We snogged but decided, evenly, that we’re not suited for couplehood as much as we are suited for hanging out. So although I am bit embarrassed, I am not so much that I won’t be able to face her again. When she’s back from a trip in a couple weeks I am confident we’ll find a reason to hang out again, possibly with others to enforce the intent. We’ll see. Meanwhile, the experience has left me with a pleasant bit of confidence despite the end result, just because the more I face people the less afraid of people I become.