I hung out with C yesterday and we watched part of Catch and Release, to see parts of Boulder in the background. It was a nice enough movie, and we’ll have to finish it later because her dog ate her remote control, so when we came back in from a brief dog walk we couldn’t continue the movie. And I am really happy that C introduced me to a new (to me) kind of tea, which is sweet without adding sugar (perfect for me or others who avoid sugar). I liked it so much I am planning on giving it as a Christmas present to someone here in Boulder who often gives tea to me when I am visiting — who doesn’t read this blog so it is ok for me to say. This tea is actually by Aveda, the hair salon product company. It is $14. Hair salon prices, apparently. I’m also getting a box for myself.
I haven’t heard from K in MA recently so I think my last email to her was too strongly …suggestive, perhaps is the word? I was kind of asking what would happen if I moved back to MA in a year; would we be able to date again? So I think my question must have crowded her, or shook her up or something. Or it may be that she’s busy. Either way I am not sure what to get her for Xmas now that Xmas is only days away and I don’t know whether I upset her. I don’t think tea would quite be right for her; she probably has practical needs. So maybe a gift certificate… oh shit, she does read this blog. Well, it at least illustrates that I am thinking about what to get her. I could go wrong with a gift certificate too, of course. If I got her a Victoria’s Secret gift certificate, for example, that would be wrong. I’m thinking Amazon. I have no idea.
I think the crux of the problem is that even if she does like the idea that we could date again — which I by no means assume to be true, I just like the idea that she would, because it is nice to imagine that we could have romantic love — it is vague of me to simply wonder, without having an actual plan.
The danger to her is that she could see it as a hope, and then whammo, what if I fall in love with someone here in Boulder in the next year? So that is why I think I may have been irresponsible to wonder out loud what would happen if I moved back to MA in a year. On the other hand, hey, for all I know she’s in love with someone in MA. Could be so, after all why not, she’s got twice as many people who could love her (on account of being bi) and from what I know of her she’s a lovable person, and tough.
I think my relaxation medication is making my blog more personal. Apparently.