So now that I am feeling good from being on my second month of antianxiety meds, I find I have more energy and I am not sure what to do with it. I feel it in my chest, broadly focused across my whole chest. This, coupled with waking up and feeling fine for a couple days in a row now, makes me worried about something the doctor told me. He told me that the antianxiety meds, if taken by people who are bipolar, may trigger bipolar… um, bipolarness for lack of the correct word. So I am asking myself, do I feel good because I am feeling good, or am I feeling good because I have some terrible bipolarness that has never been detected before?
“DSM-IV describes a manic episode as an abnormally elevated or irritable mood lasting a period of at least one week that is distinguished by at least three of the mania symptoms: inflated self-esteem, decreased need for sleep, talkativeness, racing thoughts, distractibility, increase in goal-directed activity, or excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences.”
So let me break that out and see:
- inflated self-esteem – No.
- decreased need for sleep – No. Absolutely not.
- talkativeness – Yes, but it is not as if I am talking to strangers. I just am talking more when I have the opportunity.
- racing thoughts – Yes, about goal-directed activity
- distractibility – No.
- increase in goal-directed activity – Yes. But on the other hand I remain lazy; I remain discriminating about what activities I actually want to do.
- excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences – No.
So based on that, I’d say that I have no idea. Probably not manic. Probably just have more energy now that I am several pounds lighter, eating healthier foods, and not suffering from anxiety. But I’m recording this blog entry just in case.