So there’s this producer from Peter Jennings productions possibly coming over to interview me next week about my work and experiences related to work, or some such stuff, and it’s the kind of show that typically shoots on location at people’s homes or wherever is relevant to their stories.
Which is a long way of saying I’ve got to clean my room. And it’s times like these, when ABC news is headed over to your house (or apartment) in a week, that makes me realize how much I need a walk-in closet. Note to self: when rich, make sure home has enough room for clothes. I’ve got a box of winter clothes that I have no where to put. I’ve got 3 winter blankets that have been sitting on the floor for a couple months (Here in New England, winter ended a couple months ago, fyi).
Besides the lack of clothes space, I realize I have no chairs in my room. Also, my lawn chair outside broke last week. Upshot being, there’s no where to freaking sit if we do an interview here. Unless I sit on a pillow on the floor, and somehow I can’t picture a news interview doing that. Plus we’d probably slouch if we were sitting on pillows. Not to mention, it’d look like I couldn’t afford chairs. I should mention that my whole room is laid out in a low slung way – my computer monitor is one foot off the floor, my bed is a futon (ok, just a futon mattress actually) directly on the floor, my keyboard is on a portable wooden slidy table. See, I live on the third floor, so the edges of my room slope down, neccesitating a low slung style. Which in turn led to me not having any chairs.
I imagine the solution will be to bring up a couple chairs from the dining room, but this is a rental. Me and my housemates have got 3 chairs, each are different heights. One is a plastic lawn chair. One came from someone’s trash. I’m crying here, this is so amusing.
And about that plastic lawn chair – it wouldn’t even WORK outside, if we do the interview outside in the yard, because I only have one. And it’s not like a nice reclining outdoors chair, it’s a white plastic prefab $10 chair from the hardware store.
Even if I wanted to buy lawn chairs, I couldn’t. No, really, I couldn’t. I went to Target last weekend and noticed their entire summer lawn chair section has been replaced by the Fall Back to School Supplies section. And summer, in case you’re not keeping track, just began here in New England a few weeks ago.
It’s at times like these, when an ABC news reporter is about to discover there’s no where to sit, that makes me wonder if I should just hop the fence into someone else’s yard and pretend I live there instead.
I am also under a lot of stress at work. A FedEx delivery to England went astray when the English bed & breakfast at which my boss was staying turned out not to feel like signing for packages. And then some fuck at work blames me. As if I knew the English didn’t like signing for FedEx packages for their guests. I told my coworker to go fuck themselves and hung up on them, which I think is about as much style as I could muster today.
One good thing is coming out of this. My room appears to be cleaner now than it has been in ages. Except some of that is an illusion caused by me dumping many of my clothes (the ones I couldn’t fit in my closet) into the laundy hamper. That’s going to come back to haunt me within a week…