Those new neighbors I mentioned earlier, the ones who threaten our status as coolest house in the neighborhood? They’re assholes. They love making hooting noises and screaming and bird calls when they have their ourdoor parties. You have to understand that all our backyards open to the same grassy area, so they’re annoying everyone. Including me. Shut the fuck up, neighbors!

Update: Ok, they shut up. I can hear the clanking of them cleaning up their bottles.