I’ve deleted a trio of blog entries. I was told by a friend to stop feeling guilty, because (she explained), I need to be looking clearly at where I am, not looking at the ground, if I am to appreciate where I am. There are lessons awaiting me and I am about to find out what they are. Tomorrow.
Though in my deleted blog I spoke of hope (I think I did), I must have no expectations, and that includes hopes. It also includes dismal feelings, which I had my share of today as well. Both of these sides of the spectrum must be quiet.
Update: And a moment after I’d stilled myself, I received word via email. I may have lost a relationship, but I gained an experience and perhaps some maturity. It was a brief and at times wonderful relationship, most of all some discussions we’d had on a park bench in the freezing cold. I hope to find that kind of trust again, with someone else of course, but with someone.