I am on a brief vacation of five days. It isn’t really a vacation vacation – a real vacation would be traveling with someone to some place. But it is time off, and I’ve used it so far (over these past two days) finally building a lawyer friend of mine his website which I’d promised I’d do months ago. It came out ok. Basically it’s just an online business card.
I also got a haircut, and I almost asked for a super ultra short one, so short that I’d be another of the bald Dharma Pop folks. But I ended up getting a 4 on top and a 3 on the sides. Sometime when I have TWO weeks off, maybe I’ll go for the nearly bald look, but I haven’t ever done that.
Speaking of which, it’s time I give props to the Best Hairtrimmer to Trim One’s Netherlands With.
I’d like to hereby give the nod to the Conair GMT180TDCS as the best trimmer for giving one a startlingly clean look. I’m not talking about down to the bare skin, that’s not something a guy can typically do if they’ve got other body hair that would make bare skin look weird. I’m talking about down to a “1” or “2” on the close-trim scale, fractions above bare.
The Conair GMT180TDCS is one of the old fashioned trimmers to which one attaches different length plastic trim-guards (comb-like guides which keep the blades a certain length away from your skin while also lining up the hairs to be trimmed), rather than having a more modern built-in adjustible head. Somehow this older tech works better at capturing every folicle and making sure they all end up at the same extremely brief length, which is something the more modern machines just don’t do. Be careful that the trim-guard doesn’t come off while you’re working. Aside from that risk, which by the way doesn’t do permanant damage, it is the clear winner.
For body hair shortening, and by that I mean chest or stomach hair, I’m giving props to the Remington Titanium MB70 with built in vacuum. It’s a modern trimmer with built-in adjustable head, with 9 hair length settings. The titanium-coated cutters stay sharper than things that are not titanium-coated cutters, but let’s forget the hype about titanium (my blender has titanium coated blades too, ooh!) and talk about what this baby does. First off, it is kinda inaccurate. Plenty of hairs seem to nearly escape this unit, so you end up with a variety of hair lengths unless you go over the same area many times. But this limitation is actually kind of useful for chest hair if you want a more realistic, non uniform look.
The built in vacuum really does work, catching about 2/3rds or more of the falling hairs. The 9 length settings also let you blend out to sections of body hair you’re happy with and don’t want to trim at all, like your lower arm hair. I’ve even used it (on it’s maximum length settings) for quick touch ups on my haircut (on my head), and though the vacuum storage area fills up quick when using it for that, it is still useful. The vacuum isn’t particularly any louder than a non-vacuum model by the way, because the vacuum is essentially just a tiny plastic fan built into the base, creating some airflow down through the device.
And hey, by the way, this one is also great on beards; something which perhaps a few people are also interested in. They still package these things as if they’re for beards and moustaches.
Why have two devices, you may ask? Well I don’t know. It just seems wrong to use the same trimmers on one’s face as on one’s nethers. Not as if someone is going to walk up to me, poke me in the chest and say “Hey, you! I know what you’ve done! I can see that you’ve trimmed your goatee with the same blades that you cut your pubes with earlier!” But if that could happen, why take the risk? There’d be no defense. “Oh, well yes, you caught me, it’s true,” I’d have to say, slinking away. “I hope no children or nuns saw me.”
So, those are the tops from a couple years of experience. Granted I didn’t buy a bunch of them and test them all. It’s strictly just some limited experience with a few different models. As good as these are, I still find I look best about a day or two days after I’ve disposed of my body hair, but in general these two devices are the best I’ve found so far.
Failures include the Conair MN251CS, a dainty silver trimmer whose attachable multi-length head is held on by a pair of tiny weak clips which will break off after a month or so. Avoid.