And every day the question: how does today FEEL now that I am not with her? I miss her cooking, to be sure. It still feels like she is away on a business trip or something, or I am. I did things today similar to things I do other days, but how does today FEEL? I can’t say I miss the little dog.
I plan and hope to hang out with her again later this week, perhaps even see if she got the remote control lights hooked up. I hope she did, that was fun, to give her the gift of remote control. Lighting is truly one of the things about this modern age that is really nice.
I feel a bit like this was good, that things were so powerful that we needed a break, but of course this isn’t the kind of break I had in mind. I’m not obsessive or anything by the way, it’s just been something to consider these past few days, and I have been (considering).
You know the comparison to being away on a business trip really feels apt, since business trips are often when people have affairs, brief ones anyway. So I’ve heard. (Never been married, never been working for a business). But time away in a new city offers a fresh view of the world. And that sort of fresh view is sort of how I’ve been feeling inside, even if the territory I am looking at, Davis Square for example, is still perfectly normal.
It’s not that I’m trying to work myself back to her. It’s more like I just miss the comfort of being with her, physically close to her, arms around.
I notice we were better at that than at talking, though that may be because some people evoke a quiet stillness from me – I get that same way with some other people on the phone too.