I know there’s a great disaster unfolding in India now but nonetheless here’s my blog about the Lord of the Rings. I just finished watching the extended version of the 3rd movie, the Return of the King, and that, coming about a week after watching the extended version of the 2nd movie (and a year after the first movie), means I can now form an opinion of this series.
The elaborate world of Middle Earth made little sense, and I’m not just talking about how in Middle Earth all mountains and volcanos and such come with doorways. No, the part that made the least sense which needed to make the most sense was the question of why the Flaming Eyeball wanted the ring. The Flaming Eyeball clearly did not need the ring to raise huge armies that could crush pretty much any kingdom, any fortress, that it wanted to. So I’m not quite sure what it wanted the ring for. Maybe this was explained in the books. But in the film, the ring was pretty much irrelevant. Yet that poor hobbit spent six hours trying to destroy the darn thing.
Lastly, the elves are kind of problematic. Back in the first film they start talking about how they’ve got to leave this world. And they repeat it again in the second film. And by the third film they’re still around. Maybe I misheard them.
I’ll come back to this one…
…Ok, a day has passed.
I’ll tell you one thing I really liked about the film series, or the second film especially. The Smeigel/Gollum conversations-with-himself thing.
In fact today as I was pulling down my Cheerios box from the top of the ‘fridge I realized it was a little light, a bit too close to empty. And I start saying “Oh, my Precious Cheerios! Don’t be gone, must have my precious Cheerios.” I then tried a few different inflections to see if he ended his words on upnotes rather than down. Then as I was headed for the milk I switch over to some Robyn Hitchcock lyrics from Queen Elvis. “Give an inch and take an inch and what you got is where you were… the universe is based on sullen entropy…” Or was it “where you’ve got is where you were?”As I’m rumaging for the almond milk and I’m having trouble remembering the exact lyrics so I’m repeating them a bit in variations. Not so much in Gollum’s voice anymore thank goodness, but loud enough to attract the interest of my housemate, who I finally notice is calling out to me from her room. She’s wondering if I’m having a stroke or something, and sharing this concern with her girlfriend on the other end of her cellphone headset. Woken out of my reverie, I assure her I’m fine, I’m not having a stroke. I was just thinking about the way Gollum talked to himself.
But I seem to have taken it a bit far. I’m pretty sure I’ve not just had a stroke. I think it is just that I am really tired, my third day of a bad cold and lots of labor of the manual kind. But I am amazed by the kind of reverie one can enter into when one starts talking out loud to onesself.
The pillowcase industry doesnt know its head from its ass, which is ironic since they make pillowcases designed for one’s head. I’m talking about the way pillowcases ride up if you tend to toss and turn while sleeping. A couple hours into the night and pillowcases start looking like retracticble foreskins, and they no longer serve their purpose of keeping your head nice and comfy. So what I want is a freaking pillowcase which seals at the open end, maybe with velcro, maybe with a simple sewn-flap which traps and holds the free end of the pillow in. This is so freaking obvious that really ALL pillowcases should have this, every single freaking one of them. But try finding even ONE that has this obvious feature. I just spent an hour searching Linens N Things and there’s not one to be found. I think years ago I once saw a pillowcase which had big plastic buttons, but if you sleep on that you will have a giant plastic button imprinted on your cheek. So if anyone knows of any pillowcases which actually seal shut, send me an email please (the Comments feature on this blog has been disabled). Thanks.
I got my new Storm action figure (ok, doll) today, sort of for my birthday (see pic). And, the past month of carrying boxes out of our soon-to-be-closed offices has likely been responsible for causing my weight to drop to a nice 136 lbs! That’s 4 lbs lighter than my usual 140 (and far better than my original “too many pancakes” weight of 144 lbs which I wrote about way back when I started this blog back in June ’04. Will I keep up this sort of exercise after my office is closed? I don’t know if I’d have the motivation to travel daily to a health club. So I don’t know. Apparently my chart says I tend to be stuck in place.
Back to School Storm is from begoths.com (for info) and fussymonkeytoys.com (for purchase).
Some things just can’t last. Men, I think you know what I mean. Yes, I’m referring to the 99 cent sale at the new Hollywood Video rental store. It couldn’t last. But it lasted two months and a week, or thereabouts, during which time I think I rented probably about 50 movies. The sale was part of the “Welcome us to your neighborhood, and let us drive the locally owned store out of business while you’re at it!” promotion that new Hollywood Video stores do. The 99 cent rentals usually only last one month, but they felt they needed more than that, or maybe upper management lost track of their new store, I don’t know. In any case it lasted way longer than the expected one month.
After about two months, two men dressed all in black like vultures, with slicked hair, were walking the aisles, checking the place out, making sure the people who actually worked there were doing a good job (or they’d fire them for the good of the company…or for the bottom line, or maybe just on a whim to make it seem like they’re keeping the standards of the company up). When I saw them, I knew the store would be declared a success and the promotion would soon come to an end. I wondered what kind of lives these people lead, those who live to fire people, and who in exchange are sent around the country. Are they required to dress in all black? Is the slicked hair part of their admission that they’ve gone dark?
One of those men in black even asked me if I needed help finding anything as they walked past me on their tour of the aisles, and although I answered “no, thanks, just browsing, I appreciate your guesture,” what I was really thinking was “Death dealer, be warned, for I see you as you really are!” or something along those lines. Strictly in a self-defensive way, that is. I’m not some raving nut. Just a sometimes observant empathic person.
During the 99 cent promotion I was renting non stop. New releases, classic releases (not classics per se, just non-new titles is all I mean — their actual classics section is kind of small though I did check out another Bogart film), silly asian action flicks, anime, science fiction…I even wisely explored the children’s section and found some incredible animated Batman cartoons (sometime I’ll explain why Batman is my favorite hero).
I’m now all film-satiated for awhile. But I still miss the promotion. I’d have kept going. I’m an economy minded person though, so basically now I won’t ever rent from them again except when they send coupons to me in the mail. I’ll go back to the local store which has two-on-tuesdays. Assuming they’re still in business. No, that’s not an ironic note meant to bring out a moral, it is just a matter of fact. In hard economic times, dark forces sometimes win. But at least I got like 50 movies out of it. No, that really isn’t meant to be an ironic end suggesting some kind of moral lesson. No, it isn’t!