So with my 5/29 weight of 145.9 — only a pound away from what I consider acceptable (145), you may wonder what are my plans, what is my intent, what is my goal for this weight loss?
Well first of all, I feel I should continue with diet in the sense of continuing to eat liquid shake drinks and one solid meal per day. It seems like a sensible way to avoid over-indulgence.
But what weight am I aiming for?
I believe I am aiming for 140.
I could see trying to maintain a weight just under 140, but, I am skeptical that I — with my current post-40s metabolism — could really exist at 138 without my body rebelling and demanding that I pack on and keep on a few pounds to keep me closer to 145.
When I was in my 20s, I was 130. 135 in my 30s. It was a change in metabolism, I presume, which one day made me lift off from 135 into weights I had never been at before.
145 might not be something to fight. But if I find I can reach 140 with ease, then 140 is what I will aim for.
On a purely aesthetic note, I don’t like the way that the bottom of my belly indents at the belt-line when naked. I’d like the line from my belly button to my beltline to be smooth, not a hillside meeting a plain. Fortunately some of that “hillside” is already notably smaller now that I’ve lost either 5 pounds or 10 pounds, depending on where I start to count from.
Pics to follow once I’m more of what I want.
As part of my liquid diet I am sampling different drink powders, with the intention that if I find ones that are great, I’ll get a whole tub of it, as I did the AmazingMeal Vanilla Chai Infusion.
So far, I’ve tried these sample envelopes, in Almond Milk. I’m going to keep the reviews short:
And this is the Almond Milk into which I mix these:
Avoid the Unsweetened, and avoid the other flavors — only Original tastes any good
6/12 143.8 nude! I broke through the 145lb barrier!!! True to advice, it took some intentional fluctuations of my diet including a day or two of eating MORE (to keep my metabolism up).”
6/11 did not measure
6/10 did not measure
6/09 145.2 nude in the evening – and that’s AFTER I’d had a small lunch! Whoo-hoo! I wonder if the scale is accurate though, since I don’t believe my PJ’s weight 1.4 lbs.
6/09 146.6 with PJ’s on …those “Thin” bagels must be working (fewer carbs, just as tasty)
6/08 147 with PJ’s on
6/07 did not measure
6/06 did not measure
6/05 did not measure
6/04 145.8…ate an extra bagel
6/02 did not measure…ate an extra hummus wrap (bad me!)
5/30 did not measure
5/28 did not measure
5/27 did not measure
5/26 147.3 with pj’s on
5/25 148.2 or 146.5, my scale keeps changing between the two
May 18: I started my liquid diet today. My rules for my liquid diet are: 1 solid meal per day (these are MY rules!) but just once – like a burrito or a hummus wrap,or even a bagel sandwich. The rest are protein/fiber drinks, which don’t taste too good but maybe that is so one does not get any inspiration to experience a taste sensation. Also, no eating after 8pm is reinstated. This is inspired by other dieters on Facebook.
[So how did I end up at 155, considering that I’ve always considered 150 to be too much for me, and 145 to be a reasonable, if somewhat higher-than-I’d-like, weight? I’d twice ordered Chinese fried rice in the past couple weeks and eaten it each time in one sitting, I had been eating a large chocolate chip cookie every time I went to WholeFoods, and more recently after having tried to abandon buying that one cookie I’d bought a dozen chocolate chip cookies (of lesser quality) instead. I’d also been eating Twizzlers or Red Vines whenever I watched Fringe, since the character Walter eats Red Vines and I knew it always made me want them. I regretted it every time and yet continued to find myself unable to stop. Also, and this is the insidious part because it probably did the most harm without ever seeming like an indulgence: I was eating toast. A lot. At night when I watched a series, I’d be cooking up toast and applying an admittedly diet-non-butter-substance to it, but still, it was carbs, basically pure carbohydrates every night, sometimes 6 to 8 pieces of toast over the course of an hour show. Sometimes with cinnamon. And sometimes it was a bagel, though usually toast. Even though it was a spelt bread, it was adding on to my weight, until one day after a month of not checking the scale, I found myself seeing 150lbs displayed on the digital readout.]
May 21: Still trying to make up the rules on what my diet allows, and it being a Saturday I allowed myself to have popcorn (about 400 calories, real popcorn seeds popped in a brown lunchbag in the microwave, with melted butter and salt added) and an extra protein shake. Probably I should have limited it to the popcorn as the treat.
May 23: I started my mostly-liquid diet on May 18. It is now May 23, and I weigh 149.5. I believe this represents my body weight absent the few lbs of solid-food materials that would usually be inside me. So I have not lost any actual weight yet, but I am marking 149.5 as my starting point. PS AmazingMeal Vanilla Chai w/almond milk tastes great!
May 24: I should have mentioned earlier how much better my one solid meal of the day TASTES now that it is the only solid meal I have to look forward to. I’ve had salmon-salad on bagel as a late-afternoon meal (late lunch? Early dinner?) a couple times and have LOVED it. I also loved, more than usual, garden-burgers. Taste sensations. Even after eating the salmon bagel I didn’t want to rinse my mouth out right away so the taste could linger! But of course, fish breath, so I did after awhile.
dreamed a small — tiny! — military helicopter crashed in my backyard. The sole pilot, a woman, was conscious and uninjured except for 2nd degree burns on her right shoulder from overheated metal, which she was too stunned to feel. I talked to her. She said she had a dog with her, a military dog, and i tried to get a description of it. i reassured her that even if it took a few days to find, there was plenty of food for an animal to eat because there was a fair going on with many animals roaming around to delight children (which there was). I liked this woman. And somehow, she was friend of a friend, as if this encounter had been planned. I think she was a friend of Ellie (a real friend of mine from Portland) and Ellie was hoping I’d become a friend of hers, even though she already had a boyfriend – an arrogant jerk from the military, who Ellie hoped I’d come between.
It took hours for the military to arrive, and when they did they filled the backyard with soldiers and equipment to hide the crashed helicopter, and effectively pushed me out. When i tried to watch from the back door, a soldier did the “acting arrogant” routine on me, and ultimately confiscated by iPhone (hey, i had an iPhone in this dream – yay me!) to get dirt on me, i.e. get all my private browsing history, images, etc. in a further effort to intimidate me. It became clear he was the aforementioned jerk. He tried to get me stuck to a sheet of silver goo which typically immobilized crowds, but I managed to get it off me.
I went off in another direction in an effort to return to the crash indirectly, but became lost as soon as I found myself in a small city block, a town square. I cried because I so much wanted to be back with her again. An old friend from school guided me back, fortunately. I was only a couple blocks off.
There was a scene of resolution of the fight between me and the arrogant soldier, in which I laughed off my browsing history as relatively tame, and not something that could really be used to intimidate me, though he still wanted to charge me for being at the crash scene, even though it was my own backyard (or rather, the backyard of my parents’ house, but I did not want to confound my point with that detail). He was still a jerk but seemed to be tempering his attack.
Meanwhile she, the airwoman who had crashed, was getting better I suppose.
But then I was taken into a sort of other dimension, where the building I was having the conversation in suddenly grew much taller, and by sticking to the wall I could be carried up. And the occupants of this special building, who in this dream conversation was a woman dressed normally in a dress, was explaining it to me but seemed confident that I’d get it wrong because I was, in her opinion, more stupid than her kind were. And it was true, I could barely navigate my way around this other building. And ki didnt know the customs, like how to acknowledge people or other species as you pass by them in a hall.
I found a room in which naked women with shaved heads were making out. Though there was some feeling that the original pilot was here, or around here somewhere, i was not sure if that was so. This scene turned into a class, or i was invited via business card to attend a class, on human sexuality or extreme boundaries or something. i attended with a friend, but after the movie the teacher was missing, and i wondered if the class part of the class was also by invitation; i checked the business card for more info, perhaps another location. As i tried to figure this out, the audience had left, except for one dark-haired woman who remained seated. She spoke to me. I think she was waiting for me. She alluded to the original pilot being somewhere waiting for me to find her. I was now more intent on figuring out the card than ever, knowing that she was waiting for me, but I still did not know how to find her.